After a week’s break for the season finale of “Fat People Making Out” or whatever that reality show was called, the overly sensational “Hell’s Kitchen” is back. We got a double episode to make up for the Gordon Ramsay withdrawals. Finally the show has whittled down its cast of rejects and the remaining chefs got the coveted black jackets.

So the black jacket team consists of Curly Sue, Whoopi Goldberg, Cueball, Lefty, Bo Duke, and Evil Juno McGuff. Sabrina the Middle-Aged Bitch was the last person to get eliminated before the merge, which was way overdue. Sure, she didn’t suck as much as Crybaby, or Bootylicious, or that gay guy that may have been mentally handicapped, but I hate her so much.

As far as final six teams go, I think this one may be my favorite because most of them are so unlikeable, and they hate each other. Suzanne is definitely a know it all, but the editors haven’t really shown us why she’s so incredibly despised. The three remaining girls are all total bitches and I love it. They back stab, they throw each other the bus, then complain when someone does it to them. And let’s not forget the conniving boys, who have tried on multiple occasions to eliminate a good chef. Like Ramsay is a dumbass that will kick out someone just because Kevin named them. Besides, we’ve seen time and time again that it really doesn’t matter if you get nominated, or even if your team wins, you can still go home. This isn’t some sort of game show that operates on any fair rules.

Watching the team get paired up was interesting, especially since my guy and girl picks — Dave and Suzanne — got paired up together. They’re good, and they actually work well together (which made Dave’s confessional complaints about how much he hates her all the more hilarious). Kevin is clearly overrated, and I can’t wait for him and Tennille to start beating the shit out of each other.

When it came to the actual dinner service it wasn’t actually very exciting. The chefs didn’t do very well, but not near as bad as earlier. But because the show has to keep things fresh, Ramsay “did something he’s never done before!” and walked out of the kitchen. Ultimately all it proved was that the chefs work a lot better when some British asshole isn’t screaming at them, so good job there, Gordon.

While I like Van, it was definitely time for him to go. And besides, him sweating in the food was pretty gross. They only got one shot of it, but they showed it eight times so it looked like he was boiling pasta in his own sweat.

All in all this episode wasn’t fantastic, since the dinner service was so boring they had to use one of the bullshit gimmicks to I inject excitement. At least it wasn’t as bad as the fake blackout from last season. The next few episodes ought to be pretty good though, if only for the shitstorm that these food divas are going create. Plus, now that they’re in black jackets the show is far less likely to reuse older footage too, so we shouldn’t expect Tek, and Jim, and Robert to appear in the background in any upcoming episodes. Reality is a subjective word on Fox.