Look we’re all adults here. And as much as we’d like to review every talking animal flick that comes along, the truth is that we don’t have the time, or the alcohol budget, to make that feasible. What we do have time for is to glance at the posters lining the hallway of our local cinemas, and make judgments about the films from a quick glance. And that’s exactly what we did.

Marmaduke

Directed by: Tom Dey
Written by: Tim Rasmussen and Vince Di Meglio
Poster designed by: The Cimarron Group

Malin: The Marmaduke poster is to cinema what the Spinal Tap Smell the Glove original cover was to music, without the benefit of being intended to be ironically funny.






Furry Vengeance

Directed by: Roger Kumble
Written by: Michael Carnes and Josh Gilbert
Poster designed by: BLT & Associates

Lovejoy: The Furry Vengeance poster invokes the memory of classic slapstick heist comedies, with the pain of seeing a sickly, disgusting animal that needs to be put out of its misery. Also all the animals around the aforementioned Brendan Fraser are ugly looking too.

Shrek Forever After

Directed by: Mike Mitchell
Written by: Josh Klausner and Darren Lemke
Poster designed by: BLT & Associates

Corvi: When did this movie get changed to Shrek: The Final Chapter 3D? I only recognize one character on this poster. Who the fuck are these people?

The Karate Kid

Directed by: Harald Zwart
Written by: Christopher Murphey
Poster designed by: Vox and Associates

Jakebe: I just can’t buy the idea of a black kid getting the snot beaten out of him and learning Kung Fu to get revenge. If this had been made twenty years ago, Jaden Smith would have just shot them.

Join us next week, when we review that documentary about those babies by going to Wal-Mart and listening to actual babies cry.