Remember a couple years back how there was supposed to be a film starring, like, every food mascot in some sort of “war in the supermarket” animated adventure? You know, Foodfight? It had Charlie Sheen and Eva Longoria? Then the trailer came out and it was this monstrosity?

Yeah… that piece of shit! It had an MPAA rating and everything. Where the hell did it go?

I’m sure the studio blames Charlie Sheen’s plummet into insanity, then obscurity, as the reason for only releasing this trainwreck in Russia. Foodfight already got the bump down to straight-to-DVD, but even that proposed release date has come and gone, with nary a sign of the film Hilary Duff was relying on for her comeback.

Shame too, we were all really looking forward to seeing Christopher Lloyd as the villainous… Mr. Clipboard?

Sigh.