I know a lot of Bronies, and I don’t know how. But as any good journalist who has long since given up and just occasionally updates a blog, I decided to sleuth it out. I talked to Bronies who run podcasts, Bronies who draw art, Bronies with boyfriends, and even Bronies who have girlfriends. The whole time I compiled theories on what the cause of all this was. How do you explain the Bronies? I’m not sure you can. But I’m going to try, and as always I’ll do it as tactfully as I can.

There Goes the Neigh-borhood
It’s a little known fact and widely known conspiracy theory that we are being fed subliminal messages through our televisions. While some believe we’re being ordered to kill government officials, most think (and have shown in some cases), that we’re simply being told to buy more stuff. Why have one commercial when you can have two? So you have My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, a show that on the surface is aimed at young girls. But underneath the giggles and the slapstick is a feed, designed to draw in an older demographic. After all, it’s beneficial to get parents into the show, so that they’ll buy more merchandise. Only something went wrong, and instead of triggering a response in parents, it mostly attracts single males in their 20s (and gay men in their 30s to 40s). It explains why nobody can pinpoint what they like about the show. It explains why those who just watch it on YouTube are less affected. It even explains why Hasbro has such shitty My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic merchandise. Who needs quality when you’re compelled to swarm a Toys R Us in a 20 person pack and buy everything you see?

Foals, Fillies, and Cults
There’s a large sense of conversion among Bronies, that some say borders on cultish behavior. Those people are stupid, but there is something there with the Bronies. It’s possibly that being a Brony is actually a form of cult, one that you have to join and rank up in to fully understand, much like Scientology. The reason so many Bronies can’t tell you why they love the show so much is because they’re not authorized to explain to non-believers the secret messages of My Little Pony. The Bronies aren’t trying to bring you into the fold (herd?) because “friendship is magic”, they’re trying to get you to watch because recruiting new Bronies is the only way for them to rank up and get closer to the Divine, whom I assume is the spirit incarnation of Rainbow Dash.

My Little Dalai Lama
The Internet has made our generation a bunch of assholes. We no longer have the ability to enjoy anything unless we’re tearing it down, and even then we don’t take any joy out if it. So perhaps Bronies, these Bohemians of the Internet, have finally figured out how to genuinely like something, without irony or sarcasm. How the hell did they manage that? Did they just, as a group, decide to like it. You know like how your mom used to always say “Choose to be happy” when you were crying at Disneyland? Only this time it worked and now they just unabashedly like something! If this is true, then Bronies are closer to enlightenment than any of the rest of us. Which kind of makes you want to hate them even more, right?

This Shit Don’t Make No Horse Sense, But That’s OK
Or maybe it’s just one of the many slightly odd but interesting things people do that make them, well, interesting. We like to poke fun at the Bronies, but are they any weirder than groups of men who like to swim in frigid waters? Or convention attendees that create elaborate steampunk cosplay? Or the middle aged women who follow Weird Al Yankovic on his concert tours (hi mom)? No. Granted, I make fun of all those people, too, but they’re cool in my book. And really so are the Bronies. The show is solid, and even if it’s not your thing there’s definitely an appeal in some quality SatAm cartoons. Just go for it, Bronies, who gives a shit why they do what they do? It’s not like they’re getting off on all this.

Wait, I just searched My Little Pony on FurAffinity. Rule 34 Vore. Really, guys?!

Best Motion Picture
Alpha and Omega
How to Train Your Dragon
Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole
Toy Story 3
The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader

Editor’s Choice: You gotta go with How to Train Your Dragon on this one, right? Granted, Toy Story 3 is a far superior film, but it’s not a furry film. The other three films in the category are nowhere near as good, despite what certain dragons keep trying to tell me.

Best Dramatic Short Work or Series
Adventure Time With Finn and Jake
“Foxy Bingo”
Mongrels
“Orangina Naturally”
The Regular Show
Wallace & Gromit’s World of Invention

Editor’s Choice: Honestly as long as anything but Foxy Bingo and the Orangina campaign win, I’d be fine. Yes, I know what fox was a dancing machine, and yes, god yes, that gay cougar is hot, but there is no way in hell the fandom should give an award to commercials for gambling and sugar water when some of the smartest written shows on television are in the same category.

Best Novel
Basecraft Cirrostratus by Justin Lamar
Descent by Phil Guesz
Otters in Space by Mary Lowd
Save the Day by DJ Fahl
The Seventh Chakra by Kevin Frane
Shadow of the Father by Kyell Gold

Editor’s Choice: Wow, this is an exciting year for novels, and I can see it being a close race. That said, I’ve got to go with The Seventh Chakra. It’s definitely the most ambitious novel on the list, and Frane pulled off an exciting original thriller, and one of the most unique novels I’ve read from the fandom.

Best Short Fiction
Bridges by Kyell Gold
“False Dawn” by Kyell Gold
“Felis ex Machina” by EO Costello
“Gerty and the Doesn’t-Smell-Like-a-Melon” by Mary E Lowd
The Peculiar Quandary of Simon Canopus Artyle by Kevin Frane

Editor’s Choice: I’m leaning towards Bridges in this category. It was one of those experiments that did something new, even if it was a bit… superfluous. It’s hard to argue the literary merits of writing the same spit-roasting scene three times, but hey, there it is. That said, Simon Canopus also has a cool experimental writing feel to is, as the Cupcake branded books tend to have.

Best Other Literary Work
Furpiled #4 by Leo Magna
Different Worlds, Different Skins edited by Will A Sanborn
Iron Claw Bestiary by Chris Goodwin
i.s.o. #1 by Vince Suzukawa
Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary by Dave Sedaris

Editor’s Choice: In any other situation I’d automatically say Dave Sedaris, but his latest book is actually one of his weakest, so go for one of the fandom made choices. Furpiled and i.s.o. both are cool for slice of life stuff, and the Iron Claw Bestiary is something that nerds tell me is pretty cool.

Best Graphic Story
Concession by Immelmann
Furthia High by QuetzaDrake
Cruelty by Rukis
Lackadaisy by Tracy J. Butler
Twokinds by Tim Fischbach

Editor’s Choice: Lackadaisy. No question. The others are good, but don;t really compare, except maybe Cruelty for it’s potential. Rukis has the art talent, and if she can tighten up her storytelling I can easily see her winning this award in the future, but not this year.

Best Comic Strip
“Broken Plot Device” by Lis Boriss
“Faux Pas” by Robert and Margaret Carspecken
“Little Tales” by Genesis Eve Whitmore
“Housepets!” by Rick Griffin
“Sandra and Woo” by Powree and Oliver Knörzer

Editor’s Choice: Everyone’s got a favorite, just pick one. They’re all good.

Best Magazine
Anthropomorphic Dreams Podcast by Will A. Sanborn
Heat #7 published by Sofawolf
New Fables Summer 2010 edited by Tim Susman
South Fur Lands edited by Bernard Doove
Tales of the Tai-Pan Universe edited by Gene Breshears

Editor’s Choice: I’m tempted to say go for Anthro Dreams because it might spur an entire Podcast category next year (God knows there are enough of them to warrant it). But there are so many great stories in New Fables that I can’t snub it. Go with that.

Best Published Illustration
Big Red: Lady Sings the Blues by Richard Bartrop
Cenotaph by Susan Rankin-Pollard
The Seventh Chakra by Kamui
Shadow of the Father by Sara Palmer
New Fables Summer 2010 by Mary Mouse

Editor’s Choice: All of these illustrations are fantastic and every one of them is deserving of the award. These are some of the best talent the fandom has to offer. Personally, Kamui’s The Seventh Chakra is one of the most eye catching covers I’ve seen. It also has an array of symbolism that tie it in with the book. Plus it’s bright fucking yellow.

Best Game
Disney Epic Mickey
Furry Basketball Association
Rocket Knight
Sam & Max: Season 3, Episode 1: The Penal Zone
Sonic Colors

Editor’s Choice: There’s only one game on here that is done by the fandom, for the fandom. I don’t care if you like basketball, or like roleplaying, the Furry Basketball Association is a beast that is fueled by talented and dedicated players. Add on to that, it’s fun to follow even if you’re not participating. That’s way cooler than an XBLA game about a franchise everyone forgot about.

Voting for the Ursa Majors ends April 17. Visit the official site to cast your vote.

Despite the fact that it claims to be a parody video, the production value on this looks too good for it not to be involved with the studio in some way.

It’s kind of sad that BooBoo shooting Yogi in the back of the head has guaranteed I’m going to see Yogi Bear when it hits theaters on December 17.

Malin
The great Disney movies have memorable songs, interesting characters, engaging sidekicks, strong villains, crisp dialogue, and beautiful art, and by that standard, Tangled is a pretty great Disney movie.

Rikoshi
While not quite “Pixar Good,” Tangled is still a very charming and entertaining animated film, with some very fun characters and good performances, though the songs unfortunately fall a bit flat by Disney standards.

Jakebe
Great movie, if only because it makes you want to call your mother and thank her for not being a completely insane, manipulative asshole.

Tube
Despite the 3D format, this sweet and sincere story is the first Disney movie in well over a decade to really feel like one of the timeless classics I remember from my childhood: tight storytelling, a great villain, and songs that won’t leave my head days later.

Lovejoy
It’s got all the charm and humor you’d expect from a major Disney animated feature, plus it’s got a horse that acts like a dog, so hey, there’s that too.

Director David Yates has taken the Harry Potter franchise a long way from the Sorceror’s Stone. In the opening moments you get just a small taste of what’s ultimately the darkest two and a half hours yet — the Dursleys nervously moving out of their home at 4 Privet Drive because it’s “not safe,” Hermione erasing all traces of her existence with her muggle parents, and the torture and death of one of Hogwarts’ teachers. All this before the credits. What the hell is going on here? It doesn’t feel like all that long ago we were first looking at Diagon Alley.

Most of the old familiar places are nowhere to be found, however. Harry is whisked from Privet Drive to the Weasley Burrow, and the trip proves a lot more difficult than it should be for everyone involved. Death Eaters ruin everything. Another Death Eater attack disrupts a wedding there, and just like that Harry, Hermione and Ron are all but cut off from the wizarding world, their circle of reliable friends shrinking constantly as Voldemort solidifies his stranglehold on their society.

The story is exceptionally tense. The three young wizards are forced out into the world to find and destroy Voldemort’s remaining horcruxes, but they have no clue how to do that. In the book, the first half is bogged down with Harry and company wandering around, discovering clues and backstory by sheer luck most of the time.

Yates and writer Steve Kloves deserve credit for being able to take the first half of the story and inject it with all the fear, hopelessness and confusion that Rowling wanted while conjuring a narrative momentum that the novel lacked. Yates has proven to be an exceptional director for the latter half of the franchise because he’s able to get to the heart of Rowling’s intentions far more capably than she was able to do in the novel. Remember the Ministry of Magic throwdown in Order of the Phoenix? Yates was able to take the worst-written action sequence in all seven novels and make it one of the best scenes in all eight films. That, my friends, is talent not to be overlooked.

It helps that Radcliffe, Watson and Grint have turned into such capable actors. We’ve watched the cast and crew grow to meet the story’s demands, and by this point they’ve nailed everything they’ve been asked to do. Daniel needs to wear a bra so he can play Fleur Delacour pretending to be Harry Potter? Done. Need Radcliffe and Watson to kiss passionately for Ron’s jealous fever-dream, even though it’s (by all accounts) like making sweet love to your sister? No problem. There are a few other difficult sequences that Yates manages to pull off simply by giving enough of a damn about telling a good story, making sure the feel is exactly right. He gets his three young leads to jump right in with him, and the results are quite impressive.

Not quite everything lands, though. The movie is perhaps a little too long, and Ron’s jealousy of Harry and Hermione comes on a little too quickly even though you’re given all the pieces you need to explain it. And even though pains are taken to bring meaningful emotional beats on-screen, there’s still far too much that happens away from the camera. There’s a lot of death and tragedy that don’t have as much weight as they should. Even still, when tragedy is focused on, it’s really effective. I’m not ashamed to admit I teared up in a spot or two.

By the end of this first part, Harry and company have found their way at least. They know what the Deathly Hallows are and why Voldemort is looking for them, they’ve discovered how to destroy the horcruxes, and they’re slowly enabling themselves to put up a defense against Voldemort. The weakest part of the story has already been told. If the craftmanship behind it can make it this good, I can only imagine how kick-ass part two is going to be.

Check out the trailer, featuring a bunny rocking out to Blur.

We don’t know much about the movie, Hop other than that the rabbit, who is in fact the Easter Bunny, is voiced by Russel Brand. It also stars James Marsden as the live action lead. According to the trailer, Hop is being done by the Despicable Me creators.

Hop hits theaters April 1, 2011.

From the press release: “Directed by Peter Chung (Aeon Flux) and based on the comic book series by Phil Hester and Andy Kuhn, Firebreather delivers fierce action in the clash of two worlds where monsters roam the Earth and past secrets are exposed. At the center of it all, a teenage boy named Duncan struggles to find his place as half-Kaiju and half-human.”

It’s cool to see Cartoon Network taking smaller comic series and turning them into a movie that I can only assume is just a really long pilot for a potential TV series (see: Star Wars: The Clone Wars).

Also, there are like a ton of paws and stompy parts, so you macros are probably already setting your Tivo to record.

Firebreather premieres on Wednesday, November 24 at 7 p.m. (ET/PT)

Yes, it looks like the exact plot of Digimon: The Movie, only with allusions to Second Life. Director Mamoru Hosoda was a bit ahead of his time with this concept back then.

One of the cooler things about the film is the lack of any big name celebrities in the cast. It’s all voice actors known for their work in video games and other anime.

Summer Wars hits theaters in December of this year, and gets a DVD release in Spring 2011.

The show follows Mordecai and Rigby, a couple of talking animal best friends, who work as oddjobbers on an estate owned by a talking aristocratic lollipop, and maintained by a surly gumball machine, a yeti, and a ghost that gives high fives.

Did I mention it’s wacky?

Mordecai proves that all blue jays are assholes (including our own staff writer, Corvi). Rigby proves all raccoons are crazy dumbasses. But despite both of them promoting stereotypes I just made up, they manage to be lovable in that way that you think the stoner kids in high school were funny in 15 minute intervals only once a week.

The show pushes boundaries that I haven’t seen animated shows do since the ’90s. I hesitate to say mature, since jokes about another character’s balls are certainly not, but there’s definitely a reason it’s on right before Adult Swim.

Cartoon Network has finally realized that less is more, and the 15 minute episodes of Regular Show and Adventure Time just strengthen both series. It’s a small taste of the humor that keeps me craving more, instead of drowning me in the show by having multi-hour marathons every week (see: every other show on Cartoon Network).

Regular Show finds the right balance of crazy, off the wall humor, without being totally random or full of non sequiturs. Also the raccoon knows how to hambone!

It was shockingly easy for Lovejoy to convince his entire staff to go see the new Cats & Dogs film. Convincing them all to do a full review for the film proved to be much harder. However, he did manage to squeeze a single sentence out of each of them. Think of this as your furry version of Rotten Tomatoes.

Malin
One of the few sequels to exceed the expectations set by the original.

Tube
If you’re crazy about calendars with photos of dogs and cats dressed up like little people, then boy have I got the movie for you!

Rikoshi
Make no mistakes: it’s bad—lame humor, awful writing, a beyond-contrived premise, and a voice cast of celebrities clearly dialing it in for a paycheck between “real” projects—but to be fair, it’s not the worst movie Chris O’Donnell has ever been in.

Lovejoy
I wanted to hate on this movie, but the fact is that the kid behind me laughed his ass off the entire time, so any complaints I have about the piss-poor plot seem null and void.

Rolo
If your expectations are low, and you’ve had a bottle of wine, and you’re a huge fan of German Shepherd Dogs, this movie is guaranteed to slightly exceed your expectations!

Jakebe
If you want to see Bette Midler with fewer wrinkles or Nick Nolte with a better haircut, then this is the movie for you; otherwise, it’s a pretty boring talking-animal movie — and it pains me to say that.