The Magicians
Lev Grossman

When people describe The Magicians as a fantasy set in the real world, they don’t mean it’s set in a contemporary time period like Harry Potter. They mean it’s set here, now. It’s starring those dumbass, sarcastic douchebags you all know, and it feels like something that could actually be happening. It’s also an amazing book that really analyzes the ideas of living your fantasy and getting everything you think you want. Someone all those Twilight fans that moved to Washington to find vampire boyfriends should check out.

Out of Position
Kyell Gold

Despite what felt like too much sex (which stems from the fact that the novel was written as multiple short stories), I really enjoyed Out of Position. Gold creates characters that I can actually identify with and care about, even (especially) when they’re acting like shitheads. The football scenes are actually some of my favorite parts, maybe more so than the admittedly totally hot sex scenes.

Catching Fire
Suzanne Collins

Catching Fire is the second book in Collin’s Hunger Games series, and so far I’ve been enjoying them. Sure, it’s a teen fiction book so it has a bit of that romance bullshit, which can get silly. And yes, Collins did largely ripoff the idea of the Hunger Games itself from Battle Royale, but the books have gone beyond that and are shaping up to be a cool revolution story set in a dystopian future America. And I can’t help it, I love it when teenagers murder each other for entertainment.

Odd and the Frost Giants
Neil Gaiman

The best part about this book is that it’s approximately 12 words long. Seriously, it’s more of a pamphlet than a book. But Gaiman’s super short Norse Mythology infused adventure about a young boy being lead on a quest by a talking bear, fox, and eagle is funny, exciting, heartfelt, and well illustrated. Not as amazing as The Graveyard Book but still good.

And not to give anything away, but this a really cool idea for a talking fox.

Return to the Hundred Acre Wood
David Benedictus

I was a little wary that a new Winnie the Pooh book was being written, but Benedictus (who produced numerous adaptations of the original works) has proven he knows the characters. Granted, it’s ultimately just a really good cover of A.A. Milne’s books, but it’s still a more accurate adaption than any of the Disney films. Though I’m not too thrilled with the new otter character, and not just because she’s a girl.

The Mighty Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest
Dan Slott

I fell out of the Avengers after the events of Disassembled and all the stupid crap that came afterwards. What makes Earth’s Mightiest so great is that it has a very old school comic vibe, while still poking fun at the last few years. Plus I love Hank Pym, the world’s worst super hero and it’s cool to see him step up and, as USAgent eloquently puts it, “show some sack.”

The biggest problem with books is that they come out too fast to possibly read them all. There are so many titles that came out this year that I just never got around to, like Stephen King’s Under the Dome, or Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. Did you have a favorite book? Did you read anything this year?

The interview is a little over half an hour. I’m not sure who that nasally kid pretending to be me is, just ignore him.

Alternatively if you want to download it, right click, and save:

Enjoy!

And while you’re at it, here are a few more characters severely lacking in the “horrendous mind-scarring porn” department. It’s not that there is no pron of these characters, but most of these guys would fail to sustain a thread on fChan.

Louis
We’ll start with Louis, since there’s a legitimate excuse for the lack of fat gator porn. For the unaware, Louis is a jazz playing gator from the upcoming Disney film, The Princess and the Frog. Unfortunately it seems he actually wants to be turned human, which kind of makes him a big fat antithesis for furry.

Marsupilami
Another Disney creation (though technically Belgian comic first). It’s probably because Marsupilami’s cartoon was very short lived, and has yet to be released to DVD, but there’s a surprisingly little amount of submissions for him. He has a super long prehensile tail, which makes him an instant candidate for some tail bondage.

Geronimo Stilton
What, you guys don’t read heavily illustrated children’s book series about newspaper editor rats who go on adventures? Well if you did you would have already drawn a picture of titular hero Geronimo giving to that goofy fatass cousin of his as punishment for causing another zany disaster.

Manic the Hedgehog
Honestly there doesn’t need to be any more Sonic universe porn. But freakishness that’s out there, I’m surprised more people haven’t boarded on the incestual train wreck that is Manic. You don’t remember him because Sonic Underground was barely on the air, and was the shittiest Sonic cartoon ever.

The Three Caballeros
Actually, fuck Donald Duck. But Jose Carioca and Panchito Pistoles are serverely lacking. Maybe the furry community is racist against Latinos, or speciest against birds, but they need to get over it and draw some south of the border amore. What happens in Baia stays in Baia, folks.

Chronos Lait
I know, I know, who? Look I can understand that most of you don’t remember or never played Golden Axe III on the Sega Genesis. But it is a crime to let a buff panther wearing a bondage harness get forgotten to time. Look at this motherfucker! He’s porn already!

Heffalumps and Woozles
I somewhat blame the trippy and frightening song sequence from The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh for my eventual weaselness. The least you people could do is scar my earliest childhood memories with some kleptomaniacal plush toy naughtiness.

Count Veger
Towards the end of Jak 3 Count Veger gets what’s coming to him, in the form of an ottsely transformation. And while he’s been left out from subsequent titles, Veger’s still one of the best characters in the series. A former evil Count turned cute little mustelid? The comeuppance pics practically draw themselves.

For the record, I don’t actually want to see most of this stuff. But in the interest of completion it is the fandom’s responsibility, nay their duty to draw these dudes humping.

Maybe it’s because his universes inspire such rabid fanaticism from people who actually know how to tell a story. Star Wars, especially, has benefited from the collaborative efforts of dozens of people who wanted to dig through the awkward Lucas crap and lift the space opera to its highest potential. The expanded universe has blossomed into an immensely rich storytelling opportunity, something that novelists and comic writers have been taking advantage of for years. Haven’t even heard of the Star Wars EU comics? Well, here, brother-geek, let me enlighten you.

Dark Horse comics got the rights to the Star Wars franchise in comic book form some time ago, and they’ve been pumping out solid stories ever since. There’s an incredibly large back catalogue of titles covering so many different eras of the universe, but a lot of those are only for the super-fans…you know, the dorks who can recite the entire military history of the Republic, or exactly which lightsaber crystal does what. (Full disclosure: I’m not one of those people, I promise.) For the more casual fan, like you and me, here are a few suggestions if you want to see what the Star Wars universe can be when guided by capable hands.

Let’s start with a setting you’re likely to be familiar with: the Old Republic. Bioware’s “Knights of the Old Republic” games are hugely successful, so naturally you’re going to want to explore that setting a bit. The comic starts a year or so before the game and follows a Jedi padawan, Zayne Carrick, as he tries to clear his name of a crime he didn’t commit. What’s the crime? Nothing less than killing his fellow Jedi students in cold blood. Now he’s public enemy number one to both the Jedi and the Empire, with only a Snivvian crime-lord for support. On the bright side, he’s technically now the valedictorian for his class.

The plot sounds pretty heavy, and Zayne meets a huge cast of characters through his trials and travels. Despite the sometimes complex narrative, the tone remains surprisingly light; Zayne’s a screw-up of the highest caliber, his Snivvian friend is an amusingly amoral street rat, and the rest of his crew have their own issues that bounce off each other in interesting ways. Overall the writer, John Jackson Miller, balances classic adventure with deeper, character-based story arcs really well. There are eight graphic novels in the series so far, including the Vector crossover event, and each novel pulls the action along to a surprisingly satisfying conclusion. Even after the first arching story is completed, there are enough loose ends that you’ll still want to see where Miller is going with the cast.

Stretching across the timeline is a totally different beast. Star Wars: Legacy explores the galaxy after the movies, about 140 years into the ‘future’. It follows Luke’s progeny, Cade Skywalker, through a galaxy that’s scarcely recognizable. The Sith are now an army instead of a duo of puppeteers pulling the strings of a politically powerful force. The Empire, once allied with the Sith, are now the galaxy’s last defense against complete domination. And what’s more, they have their own army of Force users — Imperial Knights with red battle armor and silver lightsabers. The few Jedi that are left hide and wait for the best opportunity to strike, and extra-dimensional aliens called the Yuuzhan Vong try to atone for the havoc they’ve wrought on the galaxy decades earlier. There are a lot of moving pieces to this story, and alliances, twists and reveals are pretty much common place.

What’s impressive about Legacy isn’t the way they’ve integrated the lore from the movies, the ensuing novels, Dark Horse’s other comics and all the other volumes of geek-myth out there seamlessly…even though that’s pretty neat. It’s the fact that they’ve taken a property almost aggressively marketed to children and turned into something adult. Cade, our protagonist for this setting, is an unrepentant asshole. He spurns both Light and Dark sides for his own path; it almost feels like his destiny is to run away from his family name. The Sith, now in charge of the galaxy without the help of the Empire, publically commit genocide and racial slavery. The Jedi and Imperial Knights are supposedly two sides of the same coin, but can barely be in the same room together. It’s fairly intense stuff, a big leap away from the classic heroes-and-villains space fables you’ve come to expect.

There are six graphic novels in the setting (including Vector), each one of them snappy action, twisty plots, and complex character studies. You might have a hard time rooting for anyone here; sometimes the only things that make the protagonists likable are the facts that there are even worse people out there doing some incredibly heinous things. Legacy strikes me as Star Wars through the lens of cyberpunk noir. If you ask me, it looks pretty damned good that way.

The best of the bunch is Dark Times. Set right after the issuance of Order 66 (in which most of the Jedi are slain), this comic is essentially the Battlestar Galactica of Star Wars. It follows a Jedi on the run from the Imperials with a comrade he served with during an unsuccessful rebellion as they simply try to survive. Most of the stories involve the heroes making a choice between a bad situation and an even worse one, and explores how good people deal with sacrificing their morals for the sake of survival. Even Darth Vader gets makes an appearance or two, reflecting on his choices and the path they’ve led him down.

Besides it’s characteristically bleak tone, it also boasts a near all-alien cast, which is a rarity in Star Wars fiction. You don’t get to see the universe from outside the lens of the dominant species, even if the minority status of most of the cast doesn’t come up that often. Still, haven’t you always wanted a Star Wars series that focused on something other than lame Ewoks or those damned Skywalkers? Well, here you go.

Dark Times is quite possibly the best thing I’ve seen in Star Wars, and the prime example of what it can be. It transcends the silly, Lucas-borne childishness and becomes a thoughtul, excitingly adult meditation on the toll loss and desperation takes on someone. It doesn’t shy away from the full weight of its material. Unfortunately, it’s one of the second-tier settings in the universe, so there are only three graphic novels so far, including the Vector crossover event that spans all time periods being explored right now. If there’s one complaint I have to make, it’s that there’s not enough of this series at all.

So there you have it. If your entire experience of Star Wars comprises the movies, there’s a lot you’re missing out on. Whether it’s the classic adventure of Knights of the Old Republic, the gritty dark future-punk of Legacy, or the heavy moral fable of Dark Times, there’s great storytelling for every sensibility.

Well, you’re in luck: I have a suggestion or two that might be just the thing for those long, boring stretches of quality time with the family or that friend who’s collected the entire catalog of Rabbit Valley, Sofawolf Books and Bad Dog Press. Even if you’re not in a bind with presents or alternative furry entertainment that’s acceptable in mixed company, these books are pretty awesome and you should read them anyway. They’re all books that just happen to have furry characters for reasons other than aesthetics. Well, for the most part.

We’ll start out with the chickiest of the three — Sight Hound by Pam Houston. It’s a novel that plays out like a literary duet between a woman, Rae, and her Irish wolfhound, Dante. Rae recounts the trials of her relationships and life in general, laying bare the problems that keep her unhappy, and Dante is there to provide the counter-point, lessons that would benefit Rae if she would just listen. These two narratives are supported by a chorus of side characters, each with their own perspectives on what’s going on. There’s Rose, another dog, Sam the cat, two veterinarians and Howard, a nervous, yet surprisingly mature actor. These voices all rise and fade beautifully thanks to Houston’s deft writing. Each perspective fleshes out not only the character, but the world they inhabit, the narrative and themes.

Sight Hound is a nice bit of light reading. Though the book deals with heavy things like loss, death and depression, it somehow manages to keep an optimistic and gentle tone. It illustrates how a patchwork community can be formed from a host of broken people, and how these people can come to rely on each other in spite of their shortcomings. The going isn’t always easy — the characters are as frustrated with each other as they are in love — but with the right amount of understanding and commitment, the family that forms is worth all the trouble it causes. It’s the perfect thing for remembering that the people you’re with, whether it’s the family you grew up with or the one you’ve created yourself, enrich and shape you just as much as they drive you crazy.

The Bear Went Over the Mountain is a different beast entirely. It’s billed as a “fairy tale for grownups,” and it certainly has that feel, but it’s also a gentle satire of the book publishing industry, Hollywood, and the nature of fame. Arthur Bramhall, an English professor and struggling writer, writes his first good novel, and hides the manuscript under a tree for safe keeping while he celebrates with a few friends. A bear finds it, reads it and likes it, then steals it, hoping to trade it in for some food. He steals a suit and tie, gives himself a name (Hal Jam, from some of his favorite food), and the story takes off from there. Arthur and Hal, throughout the course of the book, trade places, slowly subsuming themselves into their adopted societies.

You get the sense that this novel is going for something pointed, but it never quite gets there. The satire remains soft and it really removes the teeth from what Kotzwinkle is trying to say. He does a pretty good job of keeping the characters (even Hal) relatable, and you sympathize with their desperation even when you’re shaking your head at what it drives them to do. I got the feeling that I was supposed to laugh along at these people, but they were far more earnest than they were funny, so the trouble they got into just made me feel sorry for them. The tone doesn’t quite strike the balance it wants, but it’s a pretty enjoyable read nonetheless. And hey, if you like bears, you really can’t go wrong. You’d be sold on the cover alone.

If you like your novels with a lot more punch, then Gun, with Occasional Music by Jonathan Lethem is the book for you. Lethem won the National Book Award for the detective novel Motherless Brooklyn, but before he rose to literary prominence he cut his teeth on truly ambitious, truly strange post-modern sci-fi. Gun is his debut novel, and it’s one of the best dystopian noir mash-ups I’ve ever read.

The book follows a detective named Conrad Metcalf, who’s working the case of a man who believes he’s been framed for murder. Of course, the deeper he gets into the mystery, the more people work against him to solve it. One of those people, as it so happens, is a smartly-dressed evolved kangaroo named Joey Castle.

The novel is full of very unique dystopian ideas: technology has created an intrusive, controlling government, but not in the way you think. There’s a karmic account that’s used to keep track of your criminality, and news is ominous music about war rather than facts. There’s also hyper-intelligent, jaded talking babies and evolved animals every bit as neurotic and dangerous as the rest of humanity. The people get worse as the technology gets better, and Conrad finds himself an increasingly anachronistic stereotype in a world that has moved on to bigger ways of doing business without him. It’s fascinating to watch him drown in the chaos of the world around him just as much as it’s fun to imagine the vivid world that Lethem’s created. The ending is particularly neat, as Lethem goes further with the concept than you might suspect.

If you’re looking for a good companion novel, go with Lethem’s second, Amnesia Moon. It’s a buffet of post-apocalyptic goodness that’s somehow even more surreal. No furries, though, unless you count a fur-covered girl. And I don’t.

So, there you have it: a few books that will scratch that furry itch for you or a literary friend who’s looking for something a little different. Back before the fandom really took off, kids, this is how we did it back in the 90s.